When life cracks open our hearts, leaving our life wide open for new possibilities, it means something else is calling. Something beautiful is asking for our attention. Taking that moment to really listen, brings in a new way of being, a way that we would never have been receptive to without the “cracking open.”
Fifteen years ago, this little baby created a spark in me that opened up my present spiritual path. He also ignited my passion for painting. He did so by turning my world upside down.
The crazy blend of postnatal depression and colic he brought to my life, threw every intention and dream about motherhood out of the window.
Within the fogginess of it all, I stumbled upon a meditation teacher. Her weekly classes softened and opened my own heart centre. Meditation became a daily sacred practice bringing in more light, peace, hope and a deep sense of wellness.
With my heart open, clear and receptive, Divine Love could flow in and I could in turn, show love to my son. At 3am one morning as I tried to calm his colicky cries, I was Guided to move him into his brother`s bedroom and create a studio for myself from his baby nursery. The next day I acted on this Guidance and also set up a corner where I continued my daily meditation.
The picture above is this time when the two of us began emerging from this place of darkness.
What a precious gift this child has given me. In his “brokenness” as a colicky baby and in my “brokenness” as a depressed mom ….. a space was created where something beautiful was ready to begin filling this gaping hole. What a wise soul he was when he chose me to be his mom.
I remember one particular day I looked up through tears to see him looking at me with not the eyes of a baby but with those of a truly wise older soul. I felt him looking straight into my heart.
It was a very transformative time for me as a mother and as a woman.
Sadly for many years after this, I allowed the more traditional voices of others to take me away from this path…
My life has been cracked open many times since then and today painting, along with meditation is yet again, healing so much more within me….
Recently I almost lost him. You know …. as in forever grief.
With a tender heart, I was Guided to begin a daily intuitive painting practice. My paintings felt like an expression of prayer for my child and myself as a mother.
Within this vulnerability, I was then further Guided to begin a personal project to paint 100 paintings. I was to call them 100 expressions of love.
Again I responded to the Guidance. The first few paintings just flowed from me and then they began slowing down because now I was being nudged to deeply listen as I paint.
I am still sharing the process on FB and Instagram and so much more is emerging within me. In fact my purpose is becoming clearer through these paintings.
Each moment of wounding we experience creates a space for something beautiful to emerge….
Sending you so much love and light