Recently I found myself in a situation that was very much less than desirable. It began fairly pleasant but very soon I felt some old feelings return that I have no desire to entertain any longer.
As the situation intensified, I found myself stepping away into a quiet place for just half an hour. That half an hour became a turning point for me. A moment of great clarity. My smile had faded, there was this heavy feeling I carried constantly. I had stopped painting……I had stopped painting!!!!….my spirit was closing down.
By now, “Choosing Beauty” has become an affirmation I truly cannot live in the absence of. There is nothing beautiful or graceful about an energy that leaves me feeling like this.
I found a huge tree filled with birdsong and serenity, took out my journal and began writing beneath that tree.
First I sent out a prayer, a really simple one: “Please show me what I can do today to bring about change. What am I needing to learn today so that I can move up, out and away from this energy?”
And then I listened. These days prayer for me has become so much more about listening intuitively than about lengthy requests.
I listened and began writing. The following week everything became undone. Undone! I quietly observed the chaos, quietly continued praying….. listening…..and noticing…..
I knew there was no reason to feed the chaos and become chaos myself.
There was no reason…. because I had asked for change. I had asked for a different energy to enter my life. And space was being created for me to open up to light, yet again.
Lots of courage and surrender was part of this picture too because vital elements were at stake here.
Within days, movement began taking place, the kind that brought a lightness, a joy, a warmth to my days. Things started flowing and opportunies came my way in various ways.
I am very very grateful for this experience. I`m observing how quickly I can step back from what I no longer desire.
One of the greatest moments of awareness for me was this: My kindness, my deep level of compassion for others is something I value and now protect. I have spent my whole life handing over these qualities where it was not appreciated.
The result was a life not nurtured.
Therefore it is okay, totally okay to only share that part of me where it can be appreciated and welcomed. I used to think that I needed to rescue others with kindness and compassion. I used to think I was nurturing them and that nurturing my own life was unimportant.
The gift that showed itself from this situation is that my desire for a life held in JOY started flowing so strongly in me. I began a daily practice of welcoming this quality into my life each and every single morning, no matter what challenges I face. I went on to create a new journal that I am filling with every moment of joy that I gather into my day. My intention is, after all, to nurture a beautiful life 🙂
It is so very true that………
Sending you love
PS: My personalised quotes are going to be available to purchase in the form of a download. I will keep you posted. 🙂